Can you believe that? These ads are totally brilliant. I am seriously surprised that the Special Olympics is so, well, ballsy. I actually gasped a little when I saw them the first time, and I don’t think that I’m a person who is that easily shocked. I came across them here, but haven’t actually seen one in print. Have you?
I am also not the type of person who is on a big crusade against the word “retard”. I know I probably should be, but it’s just not in my constitution to try to personally change the lexicon of millions of people. Or even one person, really. Logically and rationally, I am not overly offended when I hear people say things like “oh, that’s so retarded”; I think that most people are good-hearted when it comes right down to it and aren’t trying to consciously insult my child when they use those expressions. It’s become such a commonplace word that I really think it’s lost its shock value for most people. They just don’t think about the connotations. And another thing? I have a really hard time putting my son in the same room with the word “retard”. It just doesn’t fit. That word, and all of its associations (slow, dumb, stupid, etc.) just don’t apply to him. Not that bright, motivated, perceptive boy with the fantastic sense of humor. No way. Maybe that’s my mama-denial talking, but I just can’t see it.
With that said, though, I’ll admit that it’s still like a little jab in the heart when I hear it, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I guess I feel like it should be my job to call attention to it or correct it but I don’t so then I feel guilty about it. And then I feel like a hypocrite because I know that in the past, I have certainly used that word, among others, I’m sure, in ways that disparaged people with disabilities. Not because I meant to be cruel or discriminatory or hateful, but just out of plain ignorance. I just didn’t think.
Today is the whole “Spread the Word” deal. I am not going on some grand campaign to change the world, because I’m just not that way (read: unassertive AND lazy), but I will say this: if you use the word “retard” or any word like it (and we all have done it, including me), you owe it to yourself to think about how that might affect someone who hears it. Not just me, or my son, but anyone who has a friend or relative or student or employee or neighbor with a disability. Or people who have a disability themselves. It’s far more widespread than you may have ever imagined. And sometimes, you just never know who you’re talking to.
Just FYI, I’m stealing this. I hadn’t seen the SO ads yet…wow. Yeah, ballsy.
AMEN sister! Can I steal these? Not your words, but the ads?
I want to steal your words and the ads. You said what’s in my head perfectly.
Thank you!
Ditto! I’m stealing them too!
Saw your post linked at unringing the bell and just wanted to say thank you for pointing these ads out. They are very assertive, yet I wonder if they will ever be printed. Similar to the controversial pro-breastfeeding ads.
I wish the small text was legible. I’d like to be able to read what it says.
Great ads. Thanks for sharing.
It happened again this morning. I was walking to work and the woman behind me was talking loudly to her friend. She managed to say the good old “R” word I think three times in less than a minute. What a talent. I did turn around on the second “R,” I just had to see who this genius was. She was probably in her early 20s. I glared at her a little but I doubt she noticed. And since I am seriously PMSing I felt a little on the verge of tears. But this being NYC, I also was afraid that if I did say something, I might get beat up. So I kept walking. And feeling bad. Also one of my favorite people, Dan Savage, the sex counselor used the “R” word a lot. I need to write him a letter. It’s on my to-do list. Thanks Jen.
Well said!
nice post, very nice.
I have a similar disconnect in that I in no way see my lovely boy as a “retard” in any way… but then I realize that unfortunately (and in some small part due to the commonplace acceptance of the word in everyday life) that’s the way OTHER people (and, hey, I was one of those people until Archer was born) are going to see him unless I make a conscious effort to help change that perception.
It’s kind of like the whole “person-first” language thing — sometimes it makes me roll my eyes until I stop to consider how limiting it is, and how easy it is to compartmentalize and categorize when you say “down syndrome child” instead of “CHILD with down syndrome.” (though it gets very awkward to think and speak and write that way sometimes).
which is why i have to commend the S.O. folks for putting this campaign together, no matter what my mixed feelings may be about “ending the word.”
Ditto. Word for word. You are awesome.
I saw your post at Audrey and Stella’s playground. Brilliant.
Again, you are spot on!
My friend showed me that second ad a couple of weeks ago and I loved it. Ballsy indeed. Seeing the other two now, I am even more impressed.
I understand where you’re coming from. Completely.
I am a militant at heart, I think, so giving me a cause is just like adding water to a sponge. I love getting up on my Ds soapbox.
But I hate fighting if that makes sense. What I really want is people to see my point and call it a day. It gets difficult when it doesn’t go the way I want. And then I cry. And that part sucks.
Just popping back in to say that I found the ad big enough and think the small text on it is perfectly written. Powerful!
Hi Jen,
First time I visit your blog. I found it on Shelley’s.
Funny how this R word doesn’t apply either to my daughter Emma. Emma is also perceptive. She’s witty, funny, very sensitive, independent and, cute as a button.
Nice meeting you!
In my eyes the “R” word is NOT RELATED to Down Syndrome…..Kids with Down Syndrome have Down Syndrome. They do not have “Retarded”
I believe if my child had DS I would not be offended, because in my eyes (as a person that would LOVE to adopt a child with DS one day)I do not associate the two words together.
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